What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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