I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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