just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
