there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
