He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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