What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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