honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
