Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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