I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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