Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
