I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i came on her dog
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
