I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
