At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
