she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
