bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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