I am spending my child support on dildos
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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