so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
