"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
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