Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
