We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
