youre lurking in front of me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
