It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
