Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you will always have a special place in my vag
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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