fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
