your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
True strength comes from lack of pants
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
