sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
