do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize