You're completely useless in the revolution.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
