Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
