Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
