I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
