he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
