that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
