one might say we're banned from that church
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
