it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
