smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
nutella sex= disaster
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
