Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
