FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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