She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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