I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
why is half of my head shaved?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
