Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She's the barista slut.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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