Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
