My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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