So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
