Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
