Well douche your snatch and let's go!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
third nipple confirmed
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
