Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
