At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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