Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
