i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and she was petting her beer can
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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