Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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