he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
