after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
